Reno and Rude IM sessions, the lost chapter
by Mistbender
Summary: Wondering what 'jet fuel' is? just wanna see Reno get shown up? this is the chapter for you RenoxRufus ElenaxRude


**For those who have wondered what "jet fuel" is . . .**

Nope, don't own 'em. I suppose I own 'jet fuel' though

**This is the lost chapter of Reno and Rude's IM sessions. It more or less fits between the third and fourth chapters.**

And now, you can see Reno get his own!

* * *

Reno says: Rude! long time no chat dude  
Rude says: no shit partner  
Reno says: what'cha been up to?  
Rude says: nothin' much really. all usual shit  
Reno says: missions for dothead, gettin' close ta 'Lena, all that shit, huh?  
Rude says: yup. all usual shit  
Reno says: I know ya ain't gonna ask what I been up to . . . too obvious  
Rude says: very  
Reno says: hehe, I gotta stop bein' predictable  
Elena says: **_sits infront of Rude_** with the bozz. I dunno if thats gonna happen  
Reno says: you enjoyin' sittin on that lap, 'Lena?  
Elena says: eh. shrugs it's useful and it's fun watching him try to glare at me  
Reno says: heheh. you figure out what color his eyes are yet? I still don't know  
Elena says: did that a looooonnnggg time ago  
Reno says: how long ago, and what color are they?  
Elena says: like...a few days after we got together. and I don't feel like telling you  
**_Elena sticks tongue out_**  
Reno says: argh  
**_Rufus laughs at Reno_** he's stomping around, acting like a spoiled child  
Elena says: heheh. Rudes smirking at this. I feel like making him find out himself lol  
Rufus says: "I've TRIED!!" says my second head  
Elena says: well. try harder **_smirks_**  
Rufus says: I think he may end up trying to storm in on you if you tempt him like that  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** Que Sera Sera  
Rufus says: He's starting to rant about breaking more sunglasses, this time on purpose  
Rude says: **_reaches around Elena_** please tell him that if he does, he will be paying for the next dozen or so sets of them  
Rufus says: **_argues with him about typing out his response_**  
Rufus says: I don't think he was pleased about that.  
Rude says: **_sits there keeping Elena from looking at some of the recent links he went to_**  
Rude says: no. I don't think he would be  
Rufus says: I may have to tie him down again to keep him from being a pain.  
Rude says: **_snickers_**  
Rufus says: and what links are you going to?  
Rude says: ...one second sir  
Rufus says: Darn, it looks like Reno's gotten loose **_isn't even concerned_**  
Rude says: **_shifty eyes_** get him to get Elena out of the room  
Rude says: please  
Rufus says: of course.  
Rude says: **_sees Elena getting dragged out_**  
Rude says: I cant seem to decide which Elena might like more.  
**_two links to rings have been removed_**  
Rude says: your opinions sir?  
Rufus says: Personally, I would go for the black diamond  
Rude says: really?  
Rufus says: yes. I believe she would appreciate the non-traditional rings a little more  
Rude says: **_nodds_** yes...Thank you sir  
Rufus says: not a problem. I had figured this was going to happen soon  
Rude says: oh really?  
Rufus says: yes, since both of you had been pining for each other for so long  
Rude says: ...**_sweatdrops_**...how very observant of you  
Rufus says: I hope you hadn't thought that the monitors in my office weren't for watching television  
Rude says: only half the time  
Rufus says: and I am glad that before the meeting, you'd been aware that sticking around to watch me and Reno was not . . . healthy  
Rude says: Yes. I know that sir  
Rufus says: I can only imagine what Tseng would have thought should he have been the one to happen upon us  
Rude says: oh jeeze.  
Elena says: **_sits back on Rude_** whats happening now?  
Rufus says: nothing I'm at liberty to tell you, Elena  
Elena says: awww...**_pouts_**  
Rufus says: it is not my place to tell you. Although I'm certain you'll enjoy it  
Elena says: really?  
Rufus says: yes. Dare I ask what Reno did?  
Elena says: nothing really. we went drinking for a bit  
Rufus says: hmm, I'm surprised he didn't attempt to pry that information out you again  
Elena says: oh he tried  
Reno says: no luck then?  
Elena says: nope! _**grins**_  
Rufus says: why am I not surprised?  
Elena says: because Reno never succeeds in getting info outta me  
Rufus says: you're probably the only one  
Elena says: **_grins_** and proud of it  
Rufus says: perhaps it's also because he's reluctant to torture his fellow Turks the way he tortures informants  
Elena says: touche  
Rufus says: even moreso when it comes to female Turks  
Elena says: oh really.  
Rufus says: uncouth and arrogant he may be, but he does have his chivalrous side  
Elena says: don't I know that  
Rufus says: it has been . . . disconcerting at times, because he's used that chivalry on me  
Elena says: **_cracks up_**  
Rufus says: it does bother me sometimes . . . I should tell him to stop  
Elena says: if you want **_still laughing_**  
**_xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx (the lead up to this conversation is too difficult to post without links)_**  
Elena says: I'm preoccupied, shuddup  
Reno says: Rude, get yer head outta 'Laney's lap!  
Elena says: he's asleep.  
Reno says: what, wear 'im out ?  
Elena says: wouldn't you like to know, Reno  
Reno says: what, ya ain't gonna call me sir no more?  
Elena says: I call you what you deserve  
Reno says: hey, ya called me sir before, I musta deserved it then, didn't I?  
Elena says: You wish.  
Reno says: ya know, I'm still second in command under dothead  
Elena says: your point?  
Reno says: I got power over you an I'll have more soon enough  
Elena says: **_snort_** and I care personally...why?  
Elena says: we don't need your ego swelling much more or you'll explode  
Rufus says: because, Elena, Reno seems to enjoy lording it over you  
Elena says: **_blinks blankly_**  
Elena says: when has that ever made a difference?  
Rufus says: You know, I never did assign a Vice President . . .  
Elena says: ...but that'll take him out of field work. and he's told me he likes going on missions  
Reno says: I like fuckin' bossman more  
Elena says: **_sighs_** well then. that actually keeps you outta my hair more often  
Reno says: 'sides, aside from bossman, as a VP (if I get it . . . no tellin') I could do whatever I want  
Elena says: **_rolls eyes_** and still. I care why?  
Reno says: I could putcha on paperwork duty all the time . . .  
Elena says: you already do  
Reno says: no, I do letcha out ta play among tha pains, hell, I even loan ya my partner  
Elena says: **_snorts_** you don't loan me Rude anymore.  
Elena says: I can see him when i want  
Reno says: fine, I'll take all the missions from now on, and you won't get ta go shoot at punks with him beside ya  
Elena says: . . .  
Elena says: Reno...your slowly going on my blacklist  
Reno says: hey, I only needed ta be offa it ta get ya with Rude  
Elena says: hmm. oh. and wanna know something?  
Reno says: what, 'Laney?  
Elena says: we're now living together. and Rude is acting very suspicious...and ideas?  
Reno says: hehehe, yup. I been told. and no, ya ain't gettin the info from me  
Elena says: **_twitch_** I'm gonna go hunt down Rude.  
**_Rude sits in comp. chair_** and there she goes  
Reno says: hehehe, nice ring dude. bossman told me 'bout it  
Rude says: Yeah...I'm just glad she hasn't caught me yet  
Reno says: she's hella suspicious though, you know her  
Rude says: Yup good thing it's offa internet and not a catalog  
Reno says: . . . yeah . . .  
Rufus says: Just what do you mean by that, Rude?  
Rufus says: and why is Reno fleeing, bright red?  
Rude says: nothing. just less things for her to get suspicious of  
Rufus says: Did Reno find that catalogue I had forgotten to put away?  
Rude says: yup  
Rufus says: How long did it take him to figure it out?  
Rude says: he had an idea since a few days before your proposed  
Rufus says: and yet he still fainted? I wonder why  
Rude says: yus. probably cuz he didn't think it would really happen...and in more-or-less, public  
Rufus says: I see. He should have known me well enough by then to realize  
Rude says: you would think  
Rufus says: but the past is past, and things are what they are now  
Rude says: **_nodds _**crap...she found me...**_sweatdrop_**  
Reno says: hmmm, I wonder what will happen next?  
Rude says: I shut her up  
Rufus says: oh? the same way she shut you up?  
Rude says: yup  
Rufus says: so are you able to answer that question about how much you enjoy it now?  
Rude says: no need to  
Reno says: hehehe I snagged my laptop back . . . took forever ta realize he wasn't upset that I knew  
Rude says: ah  
Reno says: so how's 'Laney doin?  
Rude says: shes drinking something from a very familiar flask  
Reno says: drinkin' eh?  
Rude says: yes...and her eye is twitching..she mumbling about 'stupid readhead..putting ideas in my head...' **_looks pointedly at Reno_**  
Reno says: I didn't tell her nothin' dude  
Rude says: what DID you tell her?  
Reno says: I told her I knew why you was 'actin suspicious' and that she ain't gettin the info from me  
Rude says: then why is she muttering about ideas you put in her head  
Reno says: fucked if I know.  
Rude says: . . .  
Rude says: shes being my second head now  
Reno says: Hey 'Lena, whatcha mean I'm puttin' ideas in your head?  
Rude says: shuddup Reno.  
Reno says: No, I wanna know. I ain't toldja nothin 'bout anythin  
Rude says: shes swaying around I don't think your getting much of an answer except something about websites.  
Reno says: ugh, I think she was just tryin ta get the info again  
Rude says: **_shrugs_** shes falling asleep  
Reno says: who knows? I ain't got no idea, an you don't . . .  
Rude says: shes now asleep on my lap...whatever was in that flask knocked her out good  
Reno says: what, was it onea my old ones?  
Rude says: I think so. it's just a shiny black and silver one with a cross in the corner  
Reno says: the one with tha black cross outlined in silver on leather?  
Rude says: yup  
Reno says: shit. how much didja see her drink?  
Rude says: maybe...half the flask?  
Reno says: FUCK! I ain't even able to handle half that thing! You better get her checked out  
Rude says: oh shiat...you ain't gonna believe this.  
Reno says: whut?  
Rude says: shes not really asleep..shes still awake and kicking!...she just flipped the comp off  
Reno says: what the fuck? dude, that shouldn't be fuckin possible  
Rude says: it is now **_smirks_** seems we found someone with a higher tolerance than you Reno  
Reno says: imfuckingpossible . . .  
Rufus says: Lovely. I'm going to be out of liquor by the end of the night  
Elena says: **_steals laptop_** it's possible now...and Reno? I wouldn't drink all that if i were you.  
Elena says: sore loser  
Rufus says: He says "shaddap 'Laney, you feckin . . . " then he resumed drinking  
Elena says: your just acting like a child yah know  
Rufus and Reno say: Are you sure you want to taunldskaFHGD FUCK YOU 'LENA! I'M THE GODDAMN DRINKER HERE, NOT YOU!  
Elena says: says who?  
Reno says: SAYS ME!  
Elena says: so? **_drinks from flask_**  
Reno says: GIMME MY GODDAMN FLASKS BACK!  
Elena says: nope you said i could have them so there  
Reno says: well I want 'em back. NOW!  
Elena says: nope. you gave them to me, liquor and all a while ago. so they're mine now **_grins_**  
Reno says: don't make me fuckin come down there  
Elena says: like you would besides. you wouldn't be able to get them  
Reno says: bet me  
Elena says: no. I don't care to bet especially against a drunk  
Reno says: cuz you'd lose I ain't drunk yet  
Elena says: sure about that?  
Reno says: you got some kinda low opinion of my tolerance alluva sudden oh yeah, and by the way, Hojo made that shit you've been chuggin  
Elena says: no. but I'm talking from think how much you've already drunk outta the bozz's cabinet  
Reno says: only two bottles  
Elena says: of what?  
Reno says: Um . . . bourbon and gin  
Elena says: ...sir? how much stuff do you have in there?  
Reno says: He got like, 300 bottles still  
Elena says: and wait re-reads Hojo made this?  
Reno says: yup, Hojo made it  
Elena says: no wonder i can chugg it  
Reno says: hehehe . . . you don't wanna know what's in that, 'Laney  
Elena says: no...but I'm now mot surprised I can drink it all **wiggles empty flask**...I'm used to anything Hojo makes  
Reno and Rufus say: an here I thought you didn't like mewra VSD that is quite enough of that  
Elena says: not my fault I was one of_ those _rookies  
Rufus says: No, it is not, but I really do not think it was appropriate for Reno to tease you so  
Elena says: what do you mean, Boss?  
Elena says: Rude wont tell me anything, cuz he's asleep  
Rufus says: He was about to imply that you'd been drinking something with mako in it, knowing how much you hate the stuff  
Elena says: **_sticks tongue__ out_** didn't taste like it..it actually was pretty good  
Rufus says: I believe he's simply sore that someone can out-drink him. Perhaps sometime I should challenge him to a drinking contest **_grins_**  
Elena says: Go, Boss!  
Rufus says: I could bring out some of the bottles he does not yet know about. Home-brewed  
Elena says: Niiiiiiiiiiice  
Rufus says: I believe it can also be used as jet fuel  
Elena says:**_ cracks up_** that would be fun to drink!  
Rufus says: then maybe we should make it a three person contest  
Elena says: see who goes down first?  
Rufus says: Of course. I wonder if Rude would like to join in as well  
Elena says: **_pokes Rude awake and asks_** **_he gives me a look says 'sure, whatever' then passes out again._**  
Rufus says: I know Tseng wouldn't. One shot of my home-brewed and he's out like a light  
Elena says: he's a lightweight. what do you expect?  
Rufus says: it will definitely be an interesting night  
Elena says: oh yes. we are certainly out to deflate Reno's ego by the swallow don't you agree?  
Rufus says: He's thought far too highly of his drinking skills for too long  
Elena says: yus he has  
Rufus says: I forgot, how much did it take to get me singing Shania Twain?  
Elena says: a good...5 bottles of strong whiskey, or a bottle or two of the homebrew i don't remember about the homebrew sir  
Rufus says: there's good reason for that. it can tend to make you forget  
Elena says: indeed  
Rufus says: I wonder just how my home brew would affect him  
Elena says: lol. I wonder too. think he'd go down before the second bottle?  
Rufus says: I doubt he'd get past the first  
Elena says: that's what I mean  
**_Everyones around the Drinking Table_**  
Rufus says: Now that we're all here, we can see who is really the best drinker here  
Elena says: **_grins_**  
Rude says : . . .  
Reno says: **_glares at 'Laney_**  
Rufus says: Behave yourself, Reno  
Elena says: **_looks innocent_**  
Reno says: **_sighs and sags in the chair_**  
Rufus says: Should we keep this to shots, since this is my home brew?  
Elena says: I think so, sir. drags it out  
**_Rude nodds_**  
Reno says: **_still sulking_**  
Elena says: cheer up  
Rufus says: Reno, you know I don't mean to snap at you, but you are acting rather childish  
Rude says: **_sighs_** com'on. Partner. it's your chance to try and drink everyone under the table  
Reno says: true that. A'right, you know what proof this stuff is, bossman?  
Rufus says: Proof? how does jet fuel suit you?  
Elena says: **_snickers_**  
Rude says: **_smirks_**  
Reno says: **_raises an eyebrow_** dayum boss, you make that yourself?  
Rufus says: Yes, I do. I'm quite happy with how it turns out  
Elena says: it's gotta be good stuff then!  
Rude says: cant wait to see how much it takes you to go down, eh?  
Reno says: I ain't goin down that easy  
Elena says: I know. **_grins_**  
**_Rude smiles and leans on arms_** you ready partner?  
Reno says: Sure thing, buddy. deal the shots, bossman  
Rufus says: As you wish, Reno **_pours shots_**  
Elena says: Who's gonna down the shot first? or all at once?  
Rufus says: All at once. We do wish to keep this even, right?  
**_Rude and Elena both nodds_**  
Reno says: Right, down the hatch  
**_all down the shots_**  
Reno says: gods DAMN boss. what you put in that shit? **_coughs a couple of times_**  
Rude says: **_coughs a bit_** that's...whoa.  
Elena says: **_coughs_** nice  
Rufus says: **_raises eyebrow_** there's a few secret ingredients in it . . .  
Elena says: Like what?  
Rufus says: if I told you, they wouldn't be secret now, would they?  
Rude says: damn.  
Elena says: you must drink this alot sir.  
Rufus says: I'm rather used to it  
**_Reno mutters 'shit' under his breath_**  
Elena says: I can tell...**_looks at glass_** everyone ready for another round?  
Reno says: Yup, sure thing.  
Rude says: **_nodds_**  
Rufus says: chuckles softly to self, hearing the 'shit'  
Elena says: You say somthin' Reno?  
Reno says: Yeah, I'm ready for the next shot.  
Elena says: suuure. lets hav'em boss!**_ wide smile_**  
Rufus says: **_raises eyebrow again and pours_**  
**_everyone downs them_**  
Reno says: **_blinks_** at least I ain't coughin no more  
Elena says:**_ looks perfectly fine_**  
**_Rude blinks slightly_**  
Rufus says: So how do you like it so far?  
Elena says: It's good!  
Rude says: it's...interesting  
Reno says: you know I love it, bossman**_ smirks_**  
Rufus says: Good. I was hoping you would. **_pours another shot_**  
**_throws back shots_**  
Reno says: **_grins_** I'm really startin ta take ta this stuff, Ruphy  
_**Rufus chuckles softly**_  
Elena says:**_ grins_** this is really good stuff, Boss-man!  
Rude says: It really is  
Rufus says: I'm so pleased. I've usually kept this for my own usage, now I can share it  
Elena says: you bet, sir! Reno..you ok?**_ raises eyebrow at his slight swaying_**  
Reno says: I'm fine. I ain't even close ta drunk  
Rufus says: Another then?  
Elena says: Sure!  
Rude says: **_looks at Reno_** ...sure  
Reno says: You betcha  
_**Rufus pours another shot, trying not to laugh at Reno**_  
Elena says: Down the hatch!  
**_everyone downs them_**  
Reno says: giggles I gotta get the recipe for this stuff, Ru-chan  
Elena says: ...**_eyebrows shoot up_**  
Rude says: He's gone  
Reno says: I am not!  
Elena says: you are too...you called the boss-man 'Ru-chan'...your drunk  
Reno says: I'm not as think as you drunk I am  
_**Rufus' face turns pink trying not to laugh**_  
Elena says: **_cracks up_** o-o-oh god!  
Rude says: **_snickers_** yes you are as thinked as we drunk you are  
Rufus says:**_ silently pours another round_**  
Reno says: I'll show you . . . whichever of you is you  
Elena says:**_ calms laughter down, and doesn't look at Reno_**  
Rude says: he's seeing double. perfect...**_sarcastic voice_**  
Reno says: Hey . . . how come your name is Rude when you ain't nowhere near rude?  
Rude says: blame my mom  
Elena says: oh woooww.  
Rufus says: Reno, perhaps you should lie down for a bit . . .  
Reno says: I'm fine, serious. **_coughs a couple of times and blinks_**  
Elena says: Suuuure you are, Red.  
Reno says: why're we yappin when there's shots to be drank? **_is leaning on the table to keep from wobbling_**  
Elena says: **_smacks forehead_** your digging your own grave, Red.  
**_everyone downs the shots_**  
Reno says:**_ blinks a couple of times, then falls over sideways, out of the chair_**  
Rufus says: I would think he's done for the night  
Rude says: **_mutters_** tiiimmmmmbbbeeerrrr!  
Elena says:**_ snickers_**  
Rufus says: That was how many shots, to bring him down?  
Elena says: ...ummm...6, sir only about 2/3 of the bottle  
Rufus says: and he calls Tseng a lightweight?  
Elena says: no...Tseng would drop after like...a shot...trust me on this**_ looks at Reno_** he's out alright  
Rufus says: I know that for a fact. He's tried my home brew once  
Elena says: yes. I was there, remember?  
Reno says: **_mumbles in his alcohol-stupored sleep_**  
Rufus says: Perhaps he should be moved . . .  
Elena says: I don't even want to know whats going though his mind right now...**_pokes him_**  
Rude says: **_sighs_** I'll move 'im. where to, boss?  
Rufus says: The next room is fine, anywhere he won't ruin anything. Or perhaps in the tub.  
Rude says: I'll do the tub...**_picks him up and carries him into the bathroom, dumping him into the tub and walking back out_** done  
Rufus says: Good, now if he gets ill, I won't have to have carpet replaced  
Rude says: yup!  
Elena says: lets get on with the drinking.  
Rufus says: Of course **_pours another round_**  
Elena says: lesse who falls next **_grins_**  
Rude says: I'm scared now.  
**_everyone downs their shots_**  
Rufus says: Scared, are you? why would that be?  
Rude says: ...**_eyebrow twitches slightly_**  
Rufus says: What, do you think you'll be taken advantage of if you go down next?  
Rude says: ...no...I'm afraid of things missing or where I may end up when I wake up if I fall next  
Rufus says: Things missing? you didn't bring anything important, did you?  
Rude says: no..I don't think I did...but still.  
Rufus says: I will make sure nothing untoward happens, if it helps you to feel any better  
Rude says: **_shrugs_** lets just get on with this  
Rufus says: Right. it's more fun without the worry **_pours another round_**  
**_everyone downs the shot_**  
Rufus says: **_pulls yet another bottle from under the table_** this seems to be going faster now  
Elena says: **_nodds_**  
Rufus says: **_pours another round_** I imagine Reno will have a vastly deflated ego when he comes to  
Elena says: oh yessss nice blackmail.  
**_everyone downs the shots_**  
Elena says: Heheh..this is fun  
Rude says: **_swaying a small bit_**  
Rufus says: I imagine the things you'll have him doing will be rather fun to watch  
Elena says: oh yeah. lol  
Rufus says: **_pours another_** are you alright, Rude?  
Rude says: I'm fine..**_blinks_**  
**_everyone downs the shots_**  
Rufus says: Feel free to let us know when you're done, I wouldn't want to have to try to drag you into the bathroom **_pours another_**  
Rude says: **_sweatdrops_** ouch.  
Rufus says: It wasn't meant to be harsh, although you are a bit larger than myself and Elena, so carrying you is rather out of the question, Rude.  
Rude says: I know...I'll live.  
Rufus says: Of course, I'm sure you, unlike Reno, know when enough is enough. As much as I love him, he is a stubborn fool  
Rude says: prideful in what he thinks he does best too. **_smiles_** you know. even during worktime, he never takes that ring off  
Rufus says: He'd best not get it damaged. **_fiddles with a matching ring on his finger_**  
Rude says: he doesn't. he freaks out on me everytime we have a mission on what to do with it  
Rufus says: That . . . **_grins_** makes me happy. Not that he's taking it out on you, but that he freaks out on how to keep it safe  
Elena says: yup! eh..Rude, hun...you ok?  
Rude says: I'm gonna back outta this...I'm gonna go sleep.  
Rufus says: Alright Rude. It's been nice drinking with you  
Rude says: **_waves and stumbles out the door_** don't worry, 'Lena..I'll be fine.  
Elena says: don't get yourself hurt.  
Rufus says: I imagine he will be fine. He is smarter than Reno when it comes to drinking  
Elena says: _**nodds**_ well, then. shall we continue?  
Rufus says: Yes, lets **_pours the shot_**  
**_both downs them_**  
Elena says: this is really gonna hit Reno in the ego...both of the 'females' drank both him and Rude under the table.  
Rufus says: Yes it will. But he could use a good dent in the ego for once  
Rude says: finally.  
Rufus says: It could be worse, he could still be here drinking, laughing that he'd sent Rude off  
Elena says: **_sigh_** at least Rude doesn't drink himself into a stupor  
Rufus says: Yes, in that you're lucky. But I have my own perks as well  
Elena says: such as.  
Rufus says: I wouldn't ever be squashed if he fell asleep on me  
Elena says: actually...Rude doesn't squish me when he falls asleep on me...he's alot more gentle then he looks  
Rufus says: it doesn't really change that he is larger and therefore heavier. And I don't lack for conversation  
Elena says: he talks...quite alot actually...and have you seen his chats with Reno?  
Rufus says: yes, quite talkative via IMs  
Elena says: yup!  
Rufus says: although we don't live on IMs alone  
Elena says: still. we have actually had a conversation more than once  
Rufus says: well that is a relief, that he doesn't always stay silent and taciturn  
Elena says: yeah. It is. but I love him anyway. lol. lets finish off the bottle already  
Rufus says:**_ pours the shot_** just like even though he's egotistical, brash, and a little reckless, I adore Reno  
**_they down it_**  
Elena says: and even though he's usually a silent, kick-ass wall of steel, I really love Rude  
Rufus says: Only we could make their flaws sound like praise  
Elena says: of course how much left of the bottle?  
Rufus says: We're on a new one  
Elena says: niiiice  
Rufus says: so, shall we continue? **_opens the bottle_**  
Elena says: I think we shall **_pushes shot glass over_** this is good stuff.  
Rufus says:**_ pours another_** yes, it took me years to perfect it  
Rude says: really!  
**_downs the shot_**  
Rufus says: Yes, a complicated blend, not easy to get right. I've tried adding some interesting things to it to get some interesting effects. I have some bottles with sodium pentethol in them  
Elena says: oh good god...please tell me you have those marked.  
Rufus says: Yes, I know which ones those are. I wouldn't want them to end up randomly down Reno's gullet  
Elena says: who knows what he might spill.**_ sweatdrop_**  
Rufus says: I know far too much from him as is, since it did happen once.  
Elena says: oh dear.  
Rufus says: I suppose I could have brought one out if you truly wanted to know why Rude is being so secretive **_pours another round_**  
Elena says: eh **_shrugs_** I'll get it out of him when he thinks he can tell me  
Rufus says: I have used those bottles for interrogation purposes. As well as when I think Reno is hiding something from me. He usually isn't.  
Rufus says: Although seeing him get sloppy on something I made is rather humorous  
Elena says: so that's what you make us give interrogation victims a shot of!! oh geeze, that's gotta get a laugh  
Rufus says: yes, that would be what I'm sending down for interrogations. Effective, isn't it?  
Rufus says: and yes, it is very funny. I should show you a video of it sometime  
Elena says: oh please do sir. I would love to get a laugh outta that **_grins_**  
**_during this entire conversation they are having shots of the unidentifiable alchohol_**  
Rufus says: I have quite a few rather funny moments of people on video. If I were feeling rather mean, I would string them together and show them to everyone  
Elena says: like what sir.  
Rufus says: I have plenty of tapes with Tseng's sleepwalking on them  
Elena says: **_starts laughing_** did Rude ever tell you the time Tseng went to his door sleepwalking?  
Rufus says: Not entirely, but Reno filled in some gaps  
Elena says: the yoldeling cookies he wanted to turn into a cake.  
Rufus says: yes . . . for who knows what purpose  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** hell if I know  
Rufus says: Then there's Reno's dancing . . .  
Elena says: for real!  
Rufus says: yes, that would be funny to broadcast  
Elena says: yes...that would **_stifling laughter_**  
Rufus says: especially considering he was nude at the time and not at his best  
Elena says:**_ starts cracking up_**  
Rufus says: it must have been cold  
Elena says: must'of...lol  
Rufus says: I also have some interesting footage of Rude  
Elena says: ...do I want to know?  
Rufus says: I imagine the reason he was doing such things was on a dare, but it's rather . . . out of character for him  
Elena says: what is it.  
Rufus says: he was caramelldancing with black cat ears and a tail on  
Elena says: ...wtf?  
Rufus says: it would seem he was enjoying it, although that can't have been his own idea  
Elena says: probably Reno's  
Rufus says: undoubtedly. Drunken anyone makes for interesting video as well  
Elena says: Tseng...Reno...I have drunk/really happy Rude pics.  
Rufus says: I do regret not being able to use some of the blackmail footage of my father on him before he was so . . . ignominiously killed.  
Rufus says: that must be a sight to see  
Elena says: it is. he's laughing in most of it  
Rufus says: Although it's not difficult to get at all, I do have some footage of the now-deceased executives as well  
Elena says: oh really?  
Rufus says: yes . . . and I always knew Scarlett was a whore, I was surprised nonetheless when she slept with Heidegger Elena says: eww.  
Rufus says: yes, I should burn that tape  
Elena says: please do...before anyone else is scarred for life...please  
Rufus says: I have plenty of tapes that need destroying as well as others that should be shown for laughs  
Elena says: need help destroying any?  
Rufus says: yes, some of the ones that explain just why I despise my father so much and no, you can't watch  
Elena says: I dont want to  
Rufus says: **_shudders from the memories_** good. it's bad enough I have to remember that  
Elena says: I never liked your father...I'm sorry you even have to be related to him in any way  
Rufus says: I don't think anyone liked my father. He was the worst pig to walk the planet  
Elena says: even though I'm happy he's gone...I even feel sorry for the lifestream to have to take him back  
Rufus says: let us hope that he gets spat out and turned into a rock or something as such  
Elena says: or a speck of sand.  
Rufus says: anything that would keep him from ever affecting anyone again. I'm honestly surprised I came out as sane as I did after his . . . abuse  
Elena says: I think Reno's helped alot  
Rufus says: yes, he has. I'm sure if it weren't for him, I would have snapped by now  
Elena says: that wouldn't be good  
Rufus says: definitely not I would not want to know what I would have done in that case  
Elena says: I think I hear Reno waking up...lol  
Rufus says: Yes, I believe he is  
Elena says: should we check on him?  
Rufus says: Probably. I wouldn't want his hair to get messed up. I enjoy playing with it too much  
Elena says: **_stands up and walks over to the bathroom_** geeze, Reno...**_sighs_**  
Rufus says: **_sighs also, and pulls back Reno's hair_** Perhaps now you'll stop trying to outdrink everyone?  
**_Reno groans and hurls again_**  
Elena says: I call that a yes..**_sweatdrops_** need me to do anything?  
Rufus says: I believe he needs a new shirt and jacket, and probably some coffee. Strong as you can make it, if you would  
Elena says: Yus sir! **_leaves_**  
Elena says (returning): Coffee's running...and I got him at least a shirt...**_places clothes on edge of tub_**  
Rufus says: It would perhaps help you, Reno, if you wouldn't try to outdo everyone at everything.  
Rufus says: Thank you, Elena  
Reno says: **_weakly_** I know . . . ain't fun, bein the one huggin the toilet  
Rufus says: You did bring this on yourself  
Elena says: **_sigh_** need anything else sir?  
Rufus says: I suppose one way to settle his stomach would be to supply him with more alcohol . . . **_smirks evilly_**  
Reno says: NO THANKS **_hurls again_**  
Elena says:**_ laughs_**  
Rufus says: Good, Lesson learned then.  
Elena says: i would think so  
Reno says: Ugggh . . . no more liquor . . . **_is dry heaving now_**  
Elena says: gonna go sober for a while, huh  
Reno says: the fuck're you so happy 'bout?  
Elena says: nothin.  
Rufus says: It would seem that being drank under the table by not only you, Elena, but myself as well, has put Reno in a foul mood  
Elena says: poor Red, lol  
Reno says: **_mutters under breath_** fuckin home brews. fuckin rookies . . .  
Elena says: I ain't no rookie anymore, Reno. you know that  
Reno says: Fuckin blondes! there! deny that one, 'Lena  
Elena says: blonde and proud of it.  
Rufus says: **_wiping some of the nastiness off of Reno's face_** Do you really have a problem with blondes, Reno?  
Reno says: shit . . . No  
Elena says: **_smiles_** need anything I can grab for you before I go check on Rude, Reno?  
Reno says: some aspirin - 'bout twenty of 'em  
Rufus says: You are not overdosing on aspirin, Reno  
Elena says: **_l__aughs and pops 2 aspirin into her hand_** here.  
Reno says:**_ takes the aspirin_** this ain't gonna hardly cover this headache  
Elena says: you'll live. go to sleep. it'll help  
Rufus says: The trick, my dear Turk, is to keep drinking water. That will ease your headache faster  
Reno says: Then gimme a lake ta drink, cuz this thing ain't goin away any time fast  
Elena says: it will. you've gone through worse. 'member?  
Reno says: yeah, mission injuries . . . but this . . . **_lays down on the cool tile_** what is in that stuff?  
Elena says: ...it is...stuff for all I know  
Rufus says: There's more to it than I can explain to you in this state. Perhaps once you're not hung over  
Elena says: **_sigh_** I'm gonna go check on Rude  
Reno says: aright. how much he beat me by?  
Elena says: a good...4-5 shots  
Reno says: fuuuuuck . . . I should just hang up the towel on this one  
Elena says: ...it's good to have your ego deflated every once in a while, Reno. It was getting to big  
Reno says: **_weakly flips off 'Lena_**  
Rufus says: Knock that off. It was too big.  
Elena says: someone agrees with me  
Reno says:**_ looks piteously at Rufus_** was I that bad?  
Rufus says: Yes, you were. Sorry to say it, but you were  
Elena says: **_sighs_** have fun...**_leaves to go check on Rude_**  
Rufus says: _**gathers up the mess that is Reno and hugs him**_ You really should stop doing this to yourself


End file.
